The other day I received a free sample of a cream that is meant to firm one's "décolletage". Does that mean they think I'm getting old and it's about high time I started using these types of products? I am wondering because I also received free samples of all sorts of things promising to "reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles" and cover up blemishes such as age spots. 10 years ago they wanted me to use concealer to cover up my unsightly pimples. I guess now they have decided that those pimples that used to grace my face have, by now, probably been replaced by age spots and the like. The joke is on them though because I can confidently assure them that I still need that concealer for my abundant yet youthful-looking pimples. And as for the décolletage firmer - well what's to firm when you never had much in the way of a décolletage in the first place? (We don't really need to discuss the masses of fine lines that have recently decided my face is some sort of Mecca at which they must all begin to gather.)
But they might actually be right - I think I am getting old:
1) I used to purchase such things as sparkly lip glosses and self-tanning creams. These days my priorities have shifted and I'm not nearly as concerned about the golden hue of my skin as I am about how many dimples are setting up camp on my thighs. And I certainly can't have that sparkly lip gloss oozing off my lips on into the fine lines gathering around my mouth.
2) I used to buy and wear (excruciatingly painful) fancy high-heeled shoes to work and out and about in general. Now I clomp around in shoes that look shockingly similar to my grandmother's orthopedic footwear while my beautiful shoes gather dust in my closet.
3) I used to stay up late watching trashy TV/movies and still get up bright an early for work. Not anymore - Now I'm usually in or on my way to bed by 9pm because the consequences of not getting enough sleep are that either I'm late to work or I simply can't function well when I'm there. And sadly, even on the weekends I fall asleep early (10ish) and wake up early (6-7) as well.
4) I used to be able to eat insane amounts of junk food all day long, then go to bed, wake up and have pizza for breakfast and my insides didn't flinch a bit. (As far as I could tell, that is.) Now if I eat that way I actually get physically ill.
5) I used to browse the internet and stores looking for my next exciting (and usually unnecessary) purchase. Now I browse articles on CNN Money about investing/insurance and daydream about my next fund purchase or how much longer I have until retirement.
Am I as boring as I sound? Please tell me you are this boring too - if you are there may be something in it for you...like maybe a sample sized décolletage firmer...
6 comments:
Hey, you aren't boring and I don't think you are old either. Perhaps getting smarter? Paid the price often enough for late nights, that you are paying attention. Get up early often enough that your body has set up a pattern. Both your dad and I get mad when we wake up early on a day we can sleep in. We lay there and scrunch up our eyes in hopes that we are still asleep until one of us gives in and whispers, "You awake?" Once the aggrieved response is given, we give up.
Hi! We've met briefly before. . . I am one of your SIL's MILs. (I'll leave you to figure out which one)
I found your blog after finally getting my dear daughter to post her OWN--and she put your link right there for me to peruse. . . (my link is on there too, if ya wanna check me out to make sure I'm legit)
Anyway--I found this recent post of yours quite telling and profound--as I am finding myself in the exact same shoes. . . I am NOT one to 'age gracefully' as they say. . .
No--I will go quite noisily, kicking and screaming into the night. . .(with my face creams, snake oils, and thigh reducing potions right beside me)
Thanks for the laugh and reminder of just how OLD I feel right now!
Okay, this may sound a little weird, but I am trying it for now. "Sleeping on your back reduces wrinkles." -- say the experts. I find when I sleep on my side, as I always do, I have a crinkle around my eye on that side of my face that doesn't go away as fast as it used to. "They" say that sleeping on parts of your face night after night creates permanent wrinkles down the road. And sleeping on your back works with gravity instead of against it.
Sounds kind of logical to me. And I don't like the look of those crinkles in the morning... and in the afternoon, and in the evening. :(
I've been trying to sleep on my back too the past few days but somehow by the morning I'm curled up on my side. I just wonder what the trick is to getting one's self to STAY on one's back. How do you do it Nicole?
Hi 'showmethesale' - I know who you are and I have actually checked out your blog before (because of Nicole's book blog). I'm glad you like my aging post. I'm with you - I plan to kick and scream like mad as I transform into the old and wrinkly me. Thanks for checking out my blog.
Let's hope I'm getting smarter, mom. Sometimes I don't think I can possibly get dumber...
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